Such a sticky subject, such a muddy subject and a topic that seems like people have a hard time talking to me about. Maybe because I don't talk about it much, but I'll try to explain my views...
[Side note: Unless I quote scripture, everything I say is my opinion, whether it's right or not is between you and God.]
God hates divorce, and so do I. In Malachi 2 It says, "13 And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand. 14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously." In v.16 when it says God "hateth putting away", some translations actually say that God hates divorce.
Also in Matthew 19:3-6 it states that when two people are made one, NO ONE should separate.
So does this mean if they do separate, they're condemned? I don't think so...
If a murderer truly repents or a liar or a thief, are they still condemned? Or are they forgiven? I'm not saying it's as simple as getting a divorce, asking forgiveness and you're good.
(OPINION) I don't know how else to say this, (because it's not okay) but the only time I feel it's okay to get a divorce is in a situation of abuse to the spouse or children. Regardless of whether there's actually a divorce, get out of that house for as long as it takes for abuse to end!
And the only other situation would be unfaithfulness. I definitely think you should try to work things out after an affair, but sometimes it just can't.
Other than that...how could you possibly justify divorce? You're unhappy? Then stop putting your happiness in your spouse and put it in Christ's hands. He's your true joy. Scott and I went through some "dating counseling" before we even got engaged (not because we needed it :b ), and I'll never forget the image Den gave us. It was this triangle with God at the top corner, then Scott and I on the opposite bottom ones, and...as we both move closer to Him, we grow closer together... How true is that?!
And now, even for those of you that would consider divorce, I don't think it is any easier, especially as a Christian, to work through the emotions of breaking so many hearts, including your own and including God's, than it is to work through your marital issues. You literally have become one in every way possible, and it's not going to be easy to tear that apart, even when you think you have, something else will remind you, you're still attached.
I have more thoughts, but I'm not sure how to express them just yet, so maybe there will be a "D Word Part II", but for now, if you have any questions, leave a comment! Maybe that will help me make part two.
Here's hoping...
"[Love] bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13 : 7-8a
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