Thursday, 25 October 2012

Insignificant

I'm falling into the trap again.
       My blogs usually fail, because if I don't have something insightful, profound or whatever to talk about, then why make a blog post? But this blog is just as much for me as it is for you, and maybe someone wants to just read the details of my life! So ha!
       So right now, Gus and I are chillin' in the house before I have to go to work. So much is happening right now! This weekend, I'll be working on the Harvest Carnival and Kylee's birthday party is on Saturday, then of course, Sunday is an all day affair! And when the weekend is over, the Harvest Carnival will just be upon us! I always stress about these things, but they all work out in the end, because we are doing this for the Glory of God and to reach out to children in our community and their families, so how could it possibly go wrong??
       After all...Romans 8 says:
"28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose..."
And also..."31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" (NKJ)

       But once again, I am looking forward, not to an activity, but for an activity to be over. :b  November brings A LOT of birthdays, Return of the King, more GLOW, Pastor Appreciation and THANKSGIVING of course! Yum yum!! Maybe I'll be an active part in the festivities as a "wife" now... I'll buy drinks! ;)

      So much going on, but for today...I will work, I will pick up Scotty and we will go to Ma-in-law's and dine on pizza!

Arrivederci!

Here's hoping...
"[Love] bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13 : 7-8a
 

Thursday, 18 October 2012

The D Word

Divorce.
        Such a sticky subject, such a muddy subject and a topic that seems like people have a hard time talking to me about. Maybe because I don't talk about it much, but I'll try to explain my views...

[Side note: Unless I quote scripture, everything I say is my opinion, whether it's right or not is between you and God.]

God hates divorce, and so do I. In Malachi 2 It says, "13 And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand. 14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously." In v.16 when it says God "hateth putting away", some translations actually say that God hates divorce.

Also in Matthew 19:3-6 it states that when two people are made one, NO ONE should separate. 

So does this mean if they do separate, they're condemned? I don't think so...
If a murderer truly repents or a liar or a thief, are they still condemned? Or are they forgiven? I'm not saying it's as simple as getting a divorce, asking forgiveness and you're good.

(OPINION) I don't know how else to say this, (because it's not okay) but the only time I feel it's okay to get a divorce is in a situation of abuse to the spouse or children. Regardless of whether there's actually a divorce, get out of that house for as long as it takes for abuse to end! 
And the only other situation would be unfaithfulness. I definitely think you should try to work things out after an affair, but sometimes it just can't.
Other than that...how could you possibly justify divorce? You're unhappy? Then stop putting your happiness in your spouse and put it in Christ's hands. He's your true joy. Scott and I went through some "dating counseling" before we even got engaged (not because we needed it :b ), and I'll never forget the image Den gave us. It was this triangle with God at the top corner, then Scott and I on the opposite bottom ones, and...as we both move closer to Him, we grow closer together... How true is that?!

And now, even for those of you that would consider divorce, I don't think it is any easier, especially as a Christian, to work through the emotions of breaking so many hearts, including your own and including God's, than it is to work through your marital issues. You literally have become one in every way possible, and it's not going to be easy to tear that apart, even when you think you have, something else will remind you, you're still attached. 

I have more thoughts, but I'm not sure how to express them just yet, so maybe there will be a "D Word Part II", but for now, if you have any questions, leave a comment! Maybe that will help me make part two.

Here's hoping...

"[Love] bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13 : 7-8a

Friday, 12 October 2012

-

Negativity.
         It's a weed. Negativity is anger, sadness, hatred. It's road rage and bad manners. It's bitterness and distant. It's greedy, rude, selfish and inconsiderate. Negativity is vain and immature.
         1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says, "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends..." 
         Some of you may recognize part of that as my tagline, it means so much to me, but that's irrelevant. 

Negativity is everything love is not.

         I feel like getting a job has enclosed me in it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job for the most part, but...well, let me explain.
        When I was young, when I was growing up, I was not naive to it by any means. I knew all along that negativity was everywhere. I saw it; I heard it; I even felt it, but for the most part, I was able to ignore it, because I was me. I was my own person, and I could ignore the whole world if I pleased. And if I didn't ignore it, I blocked its shadow with my own personal sunshine, because that's the gift God gave me.
        Even after graduating high school and turning 18 ("becoming an adult"), I was still able to continue ignoring it. I guess because I could respond however I wanted, I could do (to a certain extent) what I wanted, and I could go where and when (again, to a certain extent) I wanted.
        But now I have to work. Now I have to drive places and be there on time. Now I have to sit in my teller window and be a teller. Now I'm married, and I have a son that watches me and looks up to me, and I HAVE to be a good example.
       I have recently acquired road rage. It drives me INSANE (no pun intended) to watch people be so RUDE (cutting people off, riding ones bumper, NOT getting over when you're the world's slowest driver), when it's so EASY to be courteous.
       And my job: I understand how they feel. With half the country in poverty, they need someone to blame, someone to yell at for their own financial problems, but please let me tell you, World- Your local bank teller is not the person. I tell people all of the time, I am the lowest of the low. I am a PART TIME, twenty hour bank teller. I do not make rules, and I do not have the authority to bend them either, so all you do by yelling at me is upset a wide-eyed 22 year old girl who wants to just take her cash drawer and stand in the Stewart Pkwy/Garden Valley intersection and toss money around.
       I would never, of course, but a girl can dream, right?
       Oh, and by the way, when you yell at us and get angry, it just makes me want to NOT help, because if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!
       AND there's a' WHOLE 'nother topic I can't even mention, because of who might read this, so I'll end with this, a prayer:
        God, I need my sunshine back. I'm tired of walking away frustrated at things I can't help. I'm tired of being angry at people I don't even know.

       If you want to know how to live...love. Live according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Here's another helpful list: http://www.gurusoftware.com/GuruNet/Personal/Factors.htm
Hint: live on the positive side!

I'll leave you with this...
        I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered, full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end, because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something...
 
...That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.

Here's hoping...

"[Love] bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13 : 7-8a
 

Friday, 5 October 2012

The Prankster

Oct. 5th, 2012
        So as I mentioned yesterday, today was the anniversary of Papa Bob's death. Let's go back in time a little. I'll tell you a quick story:
        Once upon a time, we were at a BBQ at Butch & Sandy's house... Papa Bob and I were in the house getting some food or something, and I was through, so I walked out the back and shut the sliding glass door. LITTLE DID I KNOW...Papa Bob was following me out and a few moments later we all hear a *clunk* as he ran into the door I just closed...
        I have NEVER lived this down. For months at every gathering, I was reminded of how I "shut the door on Papa Bob". It may have even been mentioned at his memorial.
        So today, since I was unable to go with Scott after work, I decided I would stop by just before two right before I went into work.
       I drove into the cemetery, parked my car and got out. Well...the sprinklers were on and I thought I might be able to maneuver around them, but with them on, it was harder to find his spot and I ended up pretty wet. I have a feeling he was laughing at me up in heaven.

And that's how Papa Bob finally got me back for slamming his face in the door...

:)
RIP Papa Bob<3

Thursday, 4 October 2012

GVG²

Whew! It's been a busy week.
        Rockin': My Beloved by Kari Jobe<3
        So tonight was our Campaign Rally for the bank. It's night where we get together with the other branches in our district to get amped up for fall campaign! This year they had a t-shirt contest that we prepared for extensively. We all had white t-shirts with a gift box & ribbon, the words "Garden Valley Gift Givers" and our "number" in glitter glue, then a bow on the gift and our "names" on the back in sharpie!
        We had Margie as "Bubba", Kelley as "Crusher", Sara as "DestroyR", Patty as "Chomper" (for Halo), Vicki as "Ninja", Sarah as "Bear Claw", ME as "bR00tuHL", Haley as "RULEZ IZ RULEZ" and Cierra as "Game OVER!". Oh and Vince as "Top Dawg". :)
        We had plenty of fun preparing for this. At the rally, we "mingled", and there were some Minute To Win It games and bla bla bla... Guess what?! We won the games! We tied for first, but then we had been closer on  the tie breaker question, so we get a pizza party! What what!
       Also for the t-shirt contest part, I "rapped". It was ridiculous.
       But I had a lot of fun, and it's nice to bond with my team.

I'm not so sure what else to write today.
       I'm kind of glad it's over. It kept me busy and excited...right after I posted about things winding down! So maybe now things really will.

Tomorrow's the anniversary of Papa Bob's death. I'm sad just because I'm sad. But I'm a little disappointed because I won't be able to go with Scott to the cemetery when he goes because of work, but I think it will be okay, because I will go before work.
       It's been a weird week/month. I really miss my family. I miss Christmas' at Gramma's or Aunt Sandy's with everyone. I miss Cousin after getting to spend some time with him again! I miss Mallory, Korbin and my sweet baby Ava. Soon Kyle will be heading back to MD for a time. And Papa Bob's anniversary just puts cherry on top I guess.

But in everything, I know God has a plan.

Now rockin': Beautiful Things by Gungor<3

Great music on Pandora tonight. :)


Here's hoping...

"[Love] bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13 : 7-8a

Monday, 1 October 2012

Falling for October

Today is October 1st.
          I'm not usually one for fall/winter. I don't like the cold, the cold rain or that it gets dark so early. But this time feels different; this time feels fresh and crisp, which is why I think most people do like fall. It's also bittersweet. I'm really excited for this month, but at the same time I am sad.
         Let's start with the "neither here nor there": As if there's not enough breast cancer pink in my life, this month, as always, there will be more. I don't know quite how to explain it, but it just means something to me, and I will always support this cause.
        The bitter: Today is the last day for a real long time I will be able to hang out with Mal and Ava. Korbin will be returning early next morning, so my best friend and my baby girl are off to Virginia Beach to "ready the home" and welcome their soldier back. I am so proud of Korbin and how quickly he progresses, but I am sad that it take my family away. It really doesn't help that I'm a big cry baby, but even though I told myself I wouldn't cry last night (knowing I'd see them again today), I couldn't help but shed just one tear (or two...) when Ava with her newly acquired big girl voice turned and said "bye bye Sam". She's not quite two and can't express herself as well as we adults can, but I think she knows something's going on.
        There will be skype dates and Glee dates and facebook chats and texts about racism, but it's not quite the same, you know? But I know they'll be back, one way or another.
         Continuing with the bitter, the anniversary of Papa Bob's death is not even a week away. It's weird to think it's been only a year, because it seems like it's been so long! He was definitely a bright spot in our family, and even though I didn't know him for too terribly long, he treated me as his own and made me feel like I'd known him forever.
        The sweet: Life FEELS like it's calming down, although I should know better... Maybe it's just my bear instincts preparing for winter, but I feel a little more content than usual. At the end of the month, we'll be putting on a Harvest Festival at the church for kids in our neighborhood, and I am super excited, because I feel like this is something good for our church. I feel like this will be one of those projects that really brings the church together.
         Perhaps part of it IS just me transitioning from summer to fall. Summer always gets so crazy and GLOW isn't precise(?) and organized. Summer's more of a "if we have time, sure" season. Fall, the kids are back in school, people are getting back to their normal schedules, and so am I. We'll have what feels like our first "real" GLOW in a few months, and there are other little things going on that I'm excited about too.

We'll see!

Here's hoping...

"[Love] bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13 : 7-8a